| (no subject) |
[Sep. 30th, 2009|10:01 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | blah | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blank | ] |
I fail at English today, completly. You should hear me talk I sound like a five a year old. *grml*
*rubseye* |
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| Website love |
[Sep. 2nd, 2009|03:55 pm] |
http://www.laut.fm/
ich frage mich wie sie das mit den gema gebühren machen...
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| Pantemonium |
[Aug. 27th, 2009|08:57 am] |
Why is it that you wake up one morning and realise that you have np clean pants left and all pants you try on don't have buttons or broken zippers? Probably it's a hint from the universe for me to wear more skirts.
Quick notes to self: Bored warlords gets enchanted by a witch land in our time/universe and then what? He needs a purpose beyond discovering this world... |
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| Code Geas |
[Jul. 2nd, 2009|02:58 pm] |
Damn you Code Geas, you're the Devil. Totally addictive....:D |
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| Found sth I like |
[May. 21st, 2009|12:00 pm] |
I hate MS Office because it is a horrible, clumsy product with a low usability. I just found a program I prefer. It's a layout based, which means I intuitively produce the Layout of my page, which can be changed equally intutively at any given time. *purrr*
Otherwise I want a backrub.
*snores*
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| Procyon lotor |
[May. 18th, 2009|06:10 pm] |
I met a racoon on friday night :)
I only saw it sneak across a street but it was one of those WTF moments. (FYI racoons are not endemic in Germany) |
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| Why do people mix belief with science?? |
[Feb. 25th, 2009|08:31 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | science | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  indescribable | ] |
Believing in something and having scientific proof for a theory are two very, very different things. I abhor creationists when they do not draw a line between science and their personal fiction.
And ARG!
http://www.sueddeutsche.de/jobkarriere/384/459030/text/
Das Leben begann im Garten Eden, Gott erschuf Eva aus einer Rippe Adams und vor dem Sündenfall lebten die Menschen in Eintracht mit den Dinosauriern.
That is fiction not science. What do these people have in the ways of proof? The bible. Grand a 1800 year old book which rips off the story of the aegyptian god Ra/Horus depending on the myth. I mean, come on, Darwinists have cold, hard numbers of meticiulous observations of nature to ensure their theories.
If I hold it with their argumentation I can clearly state that the world is 30 years old and my proof is that I haven't seen the world before that so it has to be non existent, oh and all the people are just a figment of my imagination to entertain me. |
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| Why are people like that? |
[Feb. 20th, 2009|11:05 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | grrr | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  aggravated | ] |
Apparently a town in Idaho is going to massacre coyotes for shits and giggles.
See here for the whole story:
http://kkart.deviantart.com/journal/23285009/
Stuff like that is so frustrating. There is no point to this needless slaughter of animals apart from the sadistic fun that the hunters derive from it.
I'm gonna go and throw a fit. |
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| I know I know me bitching about my job gets old. |
[Feb. 19th, 2009|07:11 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | life is fiction | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | give me all your loving | ] |
So it's "Fastnacht" which makes people drink more than they should dress up in strange costumes for the better part of a week and listen to bad music. So the Lab Sisters of Doom decided to make waffles. I asked what I should bring and was told cherries would be good. So I bought them but at the same time our bachelor student had been told the same thing so we ended up with too many cherries. Coincidence? Call me paranoid but I think not because which glass of cherries wasn't used? Right mine.
The usual suspect were present: The three Lab sisters of Doom, the unfriendly TA from upstairs, the janitor and a guest from the human resources office whom I hadn't met before, the bachelor and me. Later on our Lab mommy with her one year old daughter came to eat some waffles as well. It started out nice enough apart for my instant dislike for the human resources guy. We talked about carnival and who was into it and who wasn't. R. told us his story about the girl having written fuck me on their foreheads literally and how that wasn't his thing. From there on it moved to the other famous topic the others. Especially as soon as unfriendly TA entered the room. They were bickering about how when people have a different opinion than theirs, even more so if they don't have a permanent employment but are "only" working on their PhD they, they are nagging and not stating an opinion. How people who work here and are not that popular should not be allowed to speak their minds for separate lunch rooms. Then came this beautiful part where one of the despotic Lab sisters of Doom uttered:"I don't dislike many poeple." and then looked at me. I had such a hard time to keep from laughing. Because this person bitches about anything and everything as soon as they are not around ergo her statement is so untrue and that she doesn't like me? [irony]I am so shaken that I need to sob[/irony].She should have said that she does not like a lot of people. I know that what I do here is no short of bickering about them behind their backs but it just has to go somewhere or I will verbally take their heads off before I leave.
I was so glad when the mommy arrived because then these bickering women at least had a positive focus on the cute little child.(And at last a positive topic)
It's horrible if you're wishing you could just go away again without being outright rude. But no I have the clean-up shift this week and had to stay until they were finished. I had a mean inside laugh while cleaning up. Everyone helped so it was OK but the sinister one from the three was feeling unwell but she couldn't let me do the cleaning so when I left the cloth on the counter to continue sweeping the surface as soon as I had disposed of some trash that was in my way she just continued my work and not even thoroughly. Probably just to show that she's better than me. Whatever I had to sweep everything again. *shakeshead*
These people are so not my kind of people. If I have a break I want to talk about something fun, like movies, what goes on in the world, music, free time, friend, sometimes even talking about work is fine or whatever but not negatively hark on other peoples supposed shortcomings. My jaw hurts from clenching my teeth all the time.
Ah well it's only two month more and then I don't have to deal with any of them again. |
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| Fear |
[Feb. 9th, 2009|11:23 am] |
Author's note: This piece of prose is mostly fictitious, mostly like in "mostly harmless" and is something close to "brain drain" and as such has no point apart from the contemplation of it's topic.
Whoever said that people needed a healthy dose of fear to interact respectfully with their surroundings is, in my opinion, insane. People need to know what could happen if they do such and such but they sure as hell don't need to fear their environment. They just need to respect it. Believe me I should know because I am afraid of my neighbors and the closet door and my future and everything I don't know.
Fear and being afraid is not the same as respecting a potential danger.
Anxiety paralyzes. Even the small hill behind your house becomes the Mt Everest if you're afraid of heights and you'll never climb it because it seems so gigantic.
So how does life look when your colouring emotion is fear? Like a never ending nightmare. Why am I afraid? If I was a psychologist I'd blame my childhood, but honestly it doesn't matter where it stems from. It's just obstructing my life.
What am I afraid of? Mostly people. Neverending stories about and true expierences of the horror of human behaviour etched themselves into my thoughts and memories.
Even if I try it's difficult for me to see anything good in strangers. First and foremost they are monstrosities who just exist to hurt me in any way possible. Rationally I know that it is not true but in situations like these fear dictates thoughts and behavioural patterns.
Of course people notice my attitude subconciously and because we all tend to fulfill the expectations in us, some start to act accordingly. Therefore social interaction becomes a minefield.
As the world is full of people, I have to fight my unspecific and specific fears about them every morning. So the slogan:"Do something that scares you everyday." applies millionfold.
At times it is more difficult, especially when there are people in my life who try to obiedently fullfill every cliche of a monstrosity. That's when I want to stay home and never leave again because the cruel outside world will eat me alive, or so I'd like to think. But sitting at home and hiding from the world just makes me feel lonely which is nearly as bad as being afraid. So potential loneliness and fear battle each other every morning in my head. So far I have managed to get up and out most of the time.
Fighting with yourself every morning in a never ceasing battle for dominance over your own emotions is taxing and I feel more and more tired.
Knowing all this I am seeking a way out of my personal hell which is my life. The only thing I can work with is my attitude towards strangers. I can try to see them in a more neutral fashion and I can take away their power to affect my emotional status but what I tried to change and never could was my distrust. How can I trust something that I percieve as nightmarish beast from my personal hell? |
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| I now know what i want to do for a living |
[Feb. 2nd, 2009|12:25 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | art | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
...but how to get there is rather difficult as Germany has no education for scientific illustrators. :(
So I'm swimming and writing e-mails to people who already work in the field in the vague hope that they can answer my questions. We'll see how it works out.
*chewsnails* |
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pythia_delphie's journal
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